I'm sorry my penis didn't work
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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