Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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