David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
