Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
