I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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