He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
