That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
