get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
