organizing the empties. That sober.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
