After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
