I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
