I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
