I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
