Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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