i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
