She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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