Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
