omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
