On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
