Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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