Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
