please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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