Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
