DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Come on in and take your pants off
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