Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
