Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Its about making memories worth repressing
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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