Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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