Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
