Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
so let's talk penis.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
