On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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