You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
im holly from the hills drunk
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
