Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
