Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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