The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
then he tried to convert me to islam
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Randomize
