I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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