you guys were way drunker than both of me
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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