dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
