is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
