Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
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