Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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