After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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