Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
