dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
