My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
