Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
