im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
