Just fell off a train. Bad.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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