You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
