you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
