he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
