hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
